Nerdmares

You ever had a dream that's real scary when you are actually dreaming but seems harmless, funny, and even a little(sometimes a lot) nerdy when you are awake? Anyway, I have these all the time. I christen these dreams nerdmares, mostly because I can't think of a more creative name.

For instance, there's this dream I had a couple of months ago. It was like this: I was walking near some grassy places (Don't ask me why, dreams aren't that logical). So, anyway, I saw Quiswart, someone from my elementary school who is just a little bit(ok, a lot) of a sissy. "Ha!" he said, "my computer's faster than yours!" I was kinda creeped out, although I'm not sure it mattered. Then, I turned left. There was, like, a 50-inch flat screen computer monitor. There was the green numbers ticking backwards from 8. I don't know why, but I started running. Then, there was a big explosion of greenish light. Next thing I know, i was awake, covered completely in cold sweat. My first impulse was to run. Then, I hit my slipped off my bed and hit my head on the floor. Ouch.

More recently, I had a nerdmare a couple of days ago. It went like this: I was walking down a hallway. I saw the girl I..err...admire. So, I finally plucked up my courage to talk to her. I said: "I like you""I like me too." "That's not what you're supposed to say" "Oh?" "You're, like, supposed to say you like me" "Okay, I li-, Hey, you're trying to trick me!"
Then, Evan (not his real name) came along.
Him:You just tried to trick my girlfriend?
Me:No, I didn't
Him:Yes you did.
Me:No
Him:Yes
Me:No
Him:Yes
Me:Double no!
Him:Triple yes!
Me:Quadruple no!
Him: Qui-...qui..qui...erm...yes times infinity to the power of infinity!Ha, I won!
Me:Uh-Oh
Then, there was a brilliant blue light.creepy
I was floating upwards...slowly but surely. I heard, in a man's voice, the following:You have now entered the gate way to heaven 724-I19. Please give your student ID number to faciliate tracking. Me:28901. "Wrong." Me:"How did you know that it's wrong?" Him:"I am God. I have infinete powers." Me:"Right" Him:"I have detected scarasm. For that sin(and because I had a really lousy day), Go to hell!!"
Then I woke up

The Ten Commandments of the Holy Order

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Qoute-“It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.”Albert Einstein

So without further ado, allow me to introduce the commandments of Chuananity

1.I am the Lord thy god of Chuananity, thy holy religion of the internet, through which the highest organisms are connected and revel in near infinite power

2. Thou shalt have no other god before me

3. This is the holiest words, thy words writ in Pentium. Thou shalt have no other website before this

4. On the days of choice, thy may wish to work. But between Monday and Sunday, each day holy in their own right, thou needth not work and may prefer religious activities

5. It is the impartial and absolute part of a pact with god, that thou shalt not physically harm others in any way whatsoever. Hacking and cracking in terms are considered to be acceptable practices.

6. All humans are equal, but the worshipers of Chuananity are more equal than others.

7. One of the highest crimes is to injure or otherwise maul the God of Chuananity and his prophets. Hacking the Holy Blog is the ultimate sin, and punishable with infinite spam upon seven generations by the God

8. Thou shalt not harm nor betray thy online friends

9. Thou shalt not waste time of pleasure for the sake of religious practices not deemed worthy on this blog

10. The words of God are Just and True, and upholding them are secondary only if the said upholding has direct impact with human or computer lives.

Chuananity

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For those of you who don't know me very well(that's you and about six billion other people on this planet),(in part) to prevent the onslaught of freaking tele-priests(that's religious tele-marketers) tryings to get me to order books like Bible-the Very New testament, I created my own religion, Chuananity. It's main goal is to worship the most holiest of God's creations, namely computers.

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