The Girl I Like-Part 7

Over time, and certain unfunny events I'd rather not talk about, (even though she didn't exactly say so) I'm pretty sure now that she doesn't like me. How sad. So that's that, I guess. Obviously I'm not pleased with the outcome. *shrugs* Anyway, from a reader's point of view, it's probably unfair that such a long(and remarkably, considering it's serious context, funny) series will have such an boring and anticlimax ending. It's even sadder when you consider that this is literally the most popular series of my blog. So sue me. Anyway, if you want to read the entire series, it's here(in chronological order):

A girl I like
A girl I like-Part 2
Nerdmares
A girl I like-Part 3
A girl I like-Part 4
Best School Day ever!!
A girl I like-Part 5
Murphy's Stupid Law
A girl I like-Part 6
A girl I like-Part 7

Or you can just click on the link on the bottom of this post(the one on the right of labels). Your call.

P.S.Sometimes, when fact gets boring, imagination takes over. So to be fair to you guys, I'll post on ways that she could have rejected me instead of the actual truth:

Me: Out with it. If you don't like me, just turn around, look at me straight in the eye, and say so.
She turned around, looked at me and said: I like you, but I just don't like you.
Me:Fine. Could we be friends?
Her:No.
Me:People who sit at the same table?
Her:Nope.
Me:Classmates?
Her:Nah.
Me:People who know each other well enough to say high?
Her: Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of like as in some stranger who held the door open for me.
Me:Oh. On the bright side, at least you own me something.
Her:Good point.I'll ask my friend to help you open the door on your way out of the cafeteria.
Me:Could you at least do it yourself?
Her:Do I look as if I want to be within three feet of you?

Later...
Me:There's still a glimmer of hope
Mark:Really?
Me:Yeah. She looked at me in the forehead, not in the eyes.

A Girl I Like-Part 6

"This is a random quote"-random guy

This is the really complicated story of what happened yesterday:


So, anyway, I was just standing in the lunch line, minding my own business when a black African American dude(I forgot his name. Sorry) came up to me and asked me if I liked Karen(not her real name). Anyway, I considered lying but decided against it.

I was wondering if she liked me. She said yes. Well, technically, she didn't say it to me in person. She said it to that guy I was referring to earlier(The Whats-his-name guy). Well, technically, it was more of a implication than actually referring to me. Well, technically, it was more of a slight tilt of the head than actual words. Well, technically....oh, forget it. The point is, she said yes!!!yeah!

Anyway, that whats-his-name dude called me and said (in a loud voice), "She said yes!!!" Which is kinda weird. I walked toward them a few steps, but decided against it. I looked at them. She was kinda looking everywhere but me(Gee, maybe she has an eye problem. I'll call the optician or something). He was giving me an expectant look. It went on for about half a minute. I finally became a bit curious(Right).

Me:Am I supposed to do something??!
Him:Yeah..Go on, hug her. You know you want to.

I looked at her. She looked at me. Wait, that's kinda grammatically incorrect. It's more like she gave me a look than looked at me. Trust me, there's a difference. A big one. The point is, I decided not to push my luck after all. Hm. Wonder why.

Anyway, after a while in the lunch line(Translation:25 minutes. Maybe my school's cafeteria is just a little bit inefficient), I got my food and walked towards her table. A chair next to her is empty. How thoughtful. I said hi. She said hi back. I kinda got tongue-tied. But that's okay. Maybe she thinks I'm the strong but silent types. Maybe. I doubt it, but hey. I ate my lunch in silence. After only a few minutes, the bell rang. Man, is time short around here.

Today, I looked for her and she was absent. Maybe she eewent to s an optician after all.

Murphy's Stupid Law

Quote: "If something can go wrong, it will go wrong"- Eddie Murphy

I kinda sat down at Karen's table yesterday. I thought it would be pretty straightforward. Like, sh either likes me or don't and would tell me directly. Of course, there's Murphy's stupid law to contend with. I subconsciously knew something like this might have happened, but I didn't really believe it.


I was kinda nervous so my voice was a bit smalll
Me: Like, hi
Her: ....
Me: Did you see my letter?
Her: .....
Me: Do you, erm.. like me?
Her: ....
Me: Could you, like, say something?
Her: ....
Me: Just try to answer my question. Yes or no?
Her: ......
Me: The suspense is killing me
Her: ....
Me: Could you at least look at me?
Her: ....
Me: This conversation is not going the way I expected.
Her: ..........

To make it worse, everybody from her table(and quite a few from other tables) were looking at us from the corner of their eyes(sometimes without the corner part). Gee. Perhaps today isn't going to be the best day of my life after all.

A girl I like-Part 5

Note:I'm kinda tired of saying this, but the names of this post, as with all others on my blog, are concealed to protect privacy. So don't, for instance, expect her name to actually be Karen(Although it could be something close)


I gave Karen a love letter on Friday.

Well, actually I gave one to her several weeks ago. But she didn't reply. There's a lot of possible reasons for that. Since I put the piece of paper in her jacket's hood, she probably didn't notice it. Or maybe she hadn't thought of unfolding that origami. Or maybe she couldn't read Chinese. Or maybe she hadn't thought of de-coding the invisible ink. Or my invisible ink pen had broken and it became literally invisible. Or maybe it's a mirror-writing thing. Or, well, you get the idea.

So I thought I'd be just a little bit more direct this time. So I wanted to write a love letter(a real one this time, not just "I love you" in mirror-written, invisible, Chinese). So I was kinda out of ideas. I asked my friend Andy for help. In retrospect, Andy's almost the last person a dude would ask for help and advice for this type of stuff. But I wasn't thinking clearly. So here went
our brilliant conversation

Me:Like, I need help, for y'know...
Him: Use humor. It helps lighten the situation.
Me: Really?
Him: For instance, compare her face with a b-
Me:Hey!!
Him: It's a figure of speech. It worked for me..
Me: Really.
Him: Yeah. My group leader always forced me to do all the work on the project and stuff. After I made that figure of speech in public, so far, she hadn't made me type a single extra letter than I have to.
Me: I hate to break it to you, but that's not the type of relationship I want.
Him:Oh.Oops.

Anyway, in the end, it took me quite a while to figure out what to write. After some time, I got a good idea and wrote what I liked about her(for obvious reasons, I wouldn't disclose what I wrote).

So I put the letter I wrote in her book bag. The end.

Oh, and I just realized I forgot to put my name. Oops.

By the way, I Googled "Love poems" and none of them seem to be funny, not even a little bit. So I created my own. Note:If, for some reason, you know her real name, the poem probably sounds better if you use her real name instead of 'Karen'

There's this girl I really like
(Her name's Karen Li).
Which really kinda suck
'Cause I don't think she like me

Whenever she smile her beautiful smile,
I feel like I flown up at least a mile
It could be kind of dangerous,
Especially if a guy's not too cautious

I thought I'll write her a letter,
My friend Andy suggested humor.
I can't think of anything better,
So I followed as per rumor.


I want to write more of this poem,
But I have writer's block
So right here I'll stop this poem,
And I'll finish it some other time

_________________________________________
The poem is kinda lousy, but I don't think it will win any "Lousy Poem of the Year" awards yet. Too bad.

Seriously though, she would probably reply tomorrow. I hope you guys could wish me luck. Really. Personally, I'm optimistic. After all, what's the worst thing that can happen? There's only two foreseeable scenerios:
1)She likes me. Obviously, that's the Best Case Scenario.
2)She'll privately (or get her friend) to inform me that she doesn't. In which case, I'll at least know for sure and wouldn't actually be worse off than I am right now.
Either way, nothing too bad can come out of this.


Of course, there's still Murphy's stupid Law to contend with

A Girl I Like-Part 4

Humans are defined by their tendency to do things that are statistically unprofitable. This is evidenced by, lottery, dating, and religion- Scott Adams. (This is why I really shouldn't get advice about love from humorists)

This set of posts has to be the longest ever. And the weird thing is, unlike most of my posts, which are half or (at-most) 4/5 true, every part of this series is completely true. Which is why I avoid names, because that would seriously create an identity problem if I only use real names.

Anyway, yesterday, I wrote "I love you" in Chinese(I hope she had a translator ready), lightly folded the paper, and put it into her hood(her jacket's hood), during lunch, when I was behind her in the line(queue in Queen's English). Today, during Lunch, I could have sworn I saw her smiling at me quite a few times. Admittedly, she could have been amused at the people having a birthday party not five feet behind me, but I'm keeping my hopes up.

Note:The reason why I wrote it in the way I did is because she'll know who send it(my ethnicity is remarkably rare in my high school), it's direct(you can't get more direct than 'I love you'), it's kinda romantic(I guess), and if the letter's intercepted or rejected outright, nobody would understand it. I'll just say that it's a memo for 'the Society of Chinese-Americans Who Have Nothing Better to do Than Sit Around and Brag about the Homeland' or something.

Suggestions?Comments?Insults?(Somehow, the latter seems so much more likely)

A Girl I Like-Part 3

So, as a reader of my blog, you probably would know that there's this girl in my school that I like. (Check previous posts for similar titles). I'm planning to talk to her on Monday(tomorrow).Anyway, I hope you could wish me luck. At the very least, just wish me that something similar to my dream wouldn't happen. So just pray for me, okay? Thanks a lot of your help. Keep tuned to see how it goes.

_______________

Nerdmares

You ever had a dream that's real scary when you are actually dreaming but seems harmless, funny, and even a little(sometimes a lot) nerdy when you are awake? Anyway, I have these all the time. I christen these dreams nerdmares, mostly because I can't think of a more creative name.

For instance, there's this dream I had a couple of months ago. It was like this: I was walking near some grassy places (Don't ask me why, dreams aren't that logical). So, anyway, I saw Quiswart, someone from my elementary school who is just a little bit(ok, a lot) of a sissy. "Ha!" he said, "my computer's faster than yours!" I was kinda creeped out, although I'm not sure it mattered. Then, I turned left. There was, like, a 50-inch flat screen computer monitor. There was the green numbers ticking backwards from 8. I don't know why, but I started running. Then, there was a big explosion of greenish light. Next thing I know, i was awake, covered completely in cold sweat. My first impulse was to run. Then, I hit my slipped off my bed and hit my head on the floor. Ouch.

More recently, I had a nerdmare a couple of days ago. It went like this: I was walking down a hallway. I saw the girl I..err...admire. So, I finally plucked up my courage to talk to her. I said: "I like you""I like me too." "That's not what you're supposed to say" "Oh?" "You're, like, supposed to say you like me" "Okay, I li-, Hey, you're trying to trick me!"
Then, Evan (not his real name) came along.
Him:You just tried to trick my girlfriend?
Me:No, I didn't
Him:Yes you did.
Me:No
Him:Yes
Me:No
Him:Yes
Me:Double no!
Him:Triple yes!
Me:Quadruple no!
Him: Qui-...qui..qui...erm...yes times infinity to the power of infinity!Ha, I won!
Me:Uh-Oh
Then, there was a brilliant blue light.creepy
I was floating upwards...slowly but surely. I heard, in a man's voice, the following:You have now entered the gate way to heaven 724-I19. Please give your student ID number to faciliate tracking. Me:28901. "Wrong." Me:"How did you know that it's wrong?" Him:"I am God. I have infinete powers." Me:"Right" Him:"I have detected scarasm. For that sin(and because I had a really lousy day), Go to hell!!"
Then I woke up

A Girl I Like-Part 2

I accidentally overheard while eavesdropping on her(maybe not that accidental) that she broke up with her boyfriend. Call me a sadist, but I can't say I feel too sorry for him. My next step is writing her a love letter or something. The trick is to clearly express my feelings for her while (at the same time) not leave too embrassing a scene in case she refused(very likely) or if the letter is intercepted. Any ideas?



________________

My current plan is to wait till Monday so she could kinda recover from breaking up with him(She was the one who brought it up so she shouldn't be too upset, but still.). Then, I'll write "I love you" in Chinese, put it on a piece of paper, and either hand it to her or put it into her handbag. Sure, about 1.3 billion people probably already tried that. Nonetheless, I can't think of a better plan. Comments?

A Girl I Like

There's,like, this girl in my school that I really...erm...admire. The problem(other than a high amount of your's truly's physical, mental and emotional defects) is that I barely know her. Which shouldn't have been much of a problem, but I'm not that familiar with American High Schools yet. And I have a tendency to be chronically shy to stuff I'm not that familiar with. So I couldn't pick up the courage to talk to her. Oh, and she has a boyfriend. That's another problem.


So I have a major dilenma. If you could help me, feel free to comment.