Stefanie Mayor’s Book found to be only 99.99% Cliché

Stefanie Mayor’s Book found to be only 99.99% Cliché
Mayor apologized for typo
By Leonardo alias Dearly Departed Dr. Aco N. Lord

OAKVIEW, MARYLAND-Linguists at the American Lexicon Institute had spent weeks delving the bestselling pop werewolf romance Evening saga and have a reached a shocking conclusion. “No doubt about it,” said Dr. Sean Smithson, in a press release to ‘betrayed’ fans, “a full sentence in Stephanie Mayor’s books has been discovered to be uncliché.
Amid the uproar, Smithson, PhD of pseudo-literature, explained that yes, they are certain about this claim. When my colleague (unnamed for fear of letterbombs), have first found this, I too was at first dismissive. But after cross-referencing several hundred pop culture phenomenon and using no less than five different search engines. I have to reluctantly conclude that she is right. The Evening saga is indeed only 99.99% cliché.

The offending sentence in question, on pg.279, third sentence of Shattering Sunset, went [and the bear leaped, his ears flinting with manifest indolence], has sparked much uproar, including calls of foulplay and even requests for the ICA(International Cliché Awards) to retract Mayor’s various prizes.

When contacted, Stefanie Mayor, four-year consecutive winner of the ICA Awards, made a formal apology, saying “I truly, truly, meant [And the bear leaped, his eyes glinting with malevolent intelligence] It was an honest typographical mistake. Yes, I know that a typo is no excuse for originality, but still. I know what my readers want and am sincerely apologetic. I could only promise that this would never, ever, happen again.” The ICA committee has backed Mayor up, denying any investigation for award retraction, in a press release saying, “Yes, we understand that this is a major setback. Nonetheless, Mayor is still the greatest cliché wordsmith alive today, possibly the second greatest in history since Hay-Soos X’s “New New Testament”

Of course, a few members on the fringes of literary society do not appreciate all that Mayor had done for the community. Critically acclaimed writer, Professor Eugene Wyrme of Harvard, said “ I don’t think the cliché form is the best form of writing. What I write is truly intellectually stimulating, and I think that’s what America needs, mediums of media which challenge the intellect.” (Wyrme, who had a double doctorate in pre-13th Literature and quantum dynamics at Oxford, and whose books sold literally tens of copies worldwide, has high hopes for his newest book, Dreams of an Eleventh Dimension. Said Wyrme, “This is it. This book just might be the one to propel me into the three-digit mark.)

The opinions of Joe S. Chmoe, cliché essayist and runner-up for the 2009 International Cliché Awards Award for his cliché essay, If I had a million dollars, I’ll do stuff, sharply diverges from that of Wyrme. “Like, I think being cliché is a great thing. A great, great thing that every writer-dude should aspire to. I mean, the world’s already, like, complicated enough as it is. People watch TV or w-r-e-a-d Evening to escape, to settle in, like, comfortable ee-loo-tions. I mean, I never actually read any of Mayor’s books, but my wife, Margaret, did, and she loves them. Said they are great, Maegan (I mean Mary) did.”

“I mean, to me, writing’s, like, a part-time thing to get some extra moola after a hectic day plumbing,” said Joe, “I mean, all my friends say, that my stuffs, y’know, cliché, but Marilyn assures me I’ll never be quite a good a maestro as her(Stefanie, not my wife-person).”

So what is this maestro going to do next? According to an interview by her fan website, “FreniticEveningFans.com,” Mayor’s moving on to fairy tales. Quote: “It’s a charming little tale about an blonde anorexic princess and her steroid-poppin’ boyfriend. Her stepmom and sisters were cruel; they only allowed her five brands of lipstick and made her clean her room. I know Evening’s a kind of disappointment, cliché-wise, but such a case would not repeat.”

Said Mayor, “I guarantee that I would never say anything original again. Never”