Note: This post(like many of mine) is based on part philosophy, part humor so if you're a)a dingbat or b)literal minded, don't bother. There isn't any politics, dialogue or action either, so yeah...
A friend of mine is working on a computer game. Which, for obvious reasons, I could not go into details here. At any rate, his game has many races, including humans, elves, half-elves, half-dwarves, half orcs and half-angels.
Which raises the obvious question. Well, obvious from my perspective, anyway. I mean, it doesn't take too much imagination(when you consider the mentality of the average human male) to think of half-elves, half-dwarves or even half orcs, but how the spam is it possible to get half angels[ref:see below]???
Most people agree that angels are superior beings from a higher plane of existence, so it follows suit that there aren't many angels in the first place. In addition, keep in mind that the high ones generally transcend gender, which raises a lot of awkward points.
So how do you get a half angel? Well, here are some random theories that I'll just dish out.
Theory 1: The obvious one
OK, random higher being comes to our plane, knocks up a hot virgin, nine months later, a baby mysteriously pops out. While I totally hate this theory because of its sheer lack of creativity(Earth knows that even a redneck in Texas could think that up), if you believe in the mythology, it already happened at least one(Jesus, anyone?), so yeah, it bears some consideration.
Theory 2: The time-space continuum break
This theory is slightly complicated, but it involves a gap between the parallel planes of Heaven and Earth, a power outrage, a totally idiotic UN Secretary General at 2550, a plumber trying to repair sewage problems in a wormhole, and the world's unluckiest angel. Use your imagination*
Theory 3: NDS ascension
NDS (Near Death Syndrome) occurs when a person is just at the brink of death, and is pulled in both directions. At one end, the medical guys got there in time and managed to rescue a person, at the other, his 0r her soul not only saw the light, but managed to go threw it. So at one end, he or she is a fully ascended angel, at the other, really burnt, pissed off and heavily in pain, but nonetheless, still fully mortal. By which, we get a half-angel, albeit a really annoyed one.
Theory 4: Descension
OK, this concept is near the direct opposite of theory 3. Every single mythology has a story about a Deity of some sort or another who gets punished by going to Earth. Which is pretty expected, I guess, losing your immortality status because you committed some horrendous crime, like falling in love with a human, killing a enemy or 2, committed a major act of thief, almost caused a dark hole that would swallow the universe, or eating an apple.
But what happens when the ruler of the plane is chickenhearted??Then, in that case, he wouldn't punish by fulling mortalizing you, he'll just make you a halfhuman. So you're kinda punished, but you're still superior to all the creatures made of mud and stuff, so you aren't too unhappy.
Theory 5: TTT(The Typo Theory)
Maybe, just maybe, the entire concept of halfangels was originally started just because somebody had too much time on their hands or made a typo when writing.
This theory is so preposterous and idiotic I would not even comment on it.
Sources:
The Holy Bible
Copyright: God, Creative Commons Licence. Granted:Dawn of Time
Edited:Several hundred gay monks
1 comment:
jesus wasnt the result of a higher being coming to earth and having sex with a woman since then mary would not have been a vergin. The idea is that god came down and looked at mary and voila she is suddenly pregnant. In my opinion that just seems like so much less fun. I prefer pagan dieties such as zues who would turn into a goat to seduce women. At least that is creative :P
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