Ten Great Excuses for being late to school(Part 1)

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On the way to my school, I thought of a lot of good excuses to say if someone's late for school.So anyway, here:

Excuse 1: The Traditional approach
Example:So, like, my dog ate my homework and I was like,searching and searching and searching, then I found that puppy of a b%^%& had it at a scrap, and---/So my car, for the fifth time in a row, got stuck in the traffic,
Rating:2/5. Considering the amount of people who use this approach, wwwwaaaayyy too overrated. On the plus side, almost everyone believes this excuse

Excuse 2: The Philosopher's method
Example: I was thinking I was thinking I was thinking that I was thinking that it was on a Sunday in which I was thinking I was thinking I was thinking that I was thinking that it was on a Sunday.
Rating: 3/5 Useful only if your discipline master's a retard or your philosophy teacher(or both)

Excuse 3: Whiner,whiner,whiner
Example: First, my alarm clock broke down because my little brother smashed it. Then, my parents car broke down because somebody drove it in a race. Then, the bus came late. Than, the really stupid sidewalk tripped me. Then..
Rating:2.5/5 Works first time you try it 'cause the VP will fall asleep.Works second time 'cause the sub will feel sorry for you. The hundred and fifth time, on the other hand...