Note: a slightly different version is published here
As you might have already realized, I(Leo) am a cynic. Of course, if you live in the same environment as I live in, chances are that you're gonna develop a critical opinion of life as well. Here are a few dialogs to help illustrate my point:
Me talking with the wanna-be world dominator:
Me:Hiya!
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Hiya????!!!Just how illeterate can you get?When I conquer the world I am going to ban all forms of improper language.
Me:O..K
Yuamashita Suzuki: Are you listening to me?Why would anyone speak initials that stand for Oll Korrect(which in itself is a misspelling) if he's not a MORON??
Me: Do you want an honest answer, an flattering answer, or for me to ignore the question completely?
Him:Ignore the question.
Me:Ermmm... besides the fact that Ok is the most commonly spoken word on the planet, what do you mean by 'when I conquer the world'??Do you know that world domination is next to impossible?
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Irrevelent.I'm gonna get a bunch of nukes, bomb Amelica and a couple of other countries, take over the rwmains and lead an army of radioactive matter across the rest of the civilized globe(The uncivilized ones would come later).
Me:How do you get acess to the nukes?
Yuanmashita Suzuki:I'm gonna steal the rugby ball.
Me:It's called the football.
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Nevar mind that.
Me:At any rate,how do you steal the Football.It is a, like, completely secure object with over 10 NSA agents and several CIA agents watching over it.Oh and it is Bulletproof and permanently attached to an aide
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Never mind that.
Me(humoring him):So what exactly would you do to help mankind if you in the impossible event that you actually conquer the world?
Yuanmashita Suzuki:I'm going to make it mandatory for all but the old and the infirm to jog for an hour while holding their mouth wide open.
Me(trying to humor him):Because you really think well of exercise and fresh air??
Yuanmashita Suzuki:No,because I reeeeeaaaaalllly hate flies.
As you might have already realized, I(Leo) am a cynic. Of course, if you live in the same environment as I live in, chances are that you're gonna develop a critical opinion of life as well. Here are a few dialogs to help illustrate my point:
Me talking with the wanna-be world dominator:
Me:Hiya!
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Hiya????!!!Just how illeterate can you get?When I conquer the world I am going to ban all forms of improper language.
Me:O..K
Yuamashita Suzuki: Are you listening to me?Why would anyone speak initials that stand for Oll Korrect(which in itself is a misspelling) if he's not a MORON??
Me: Do you want an honest answer, an flattering answer, or for me to ignore the question completely?
Him:Ignore the question.
Me:Ermmm... besides the fact that Ok is the most commonly spoken word on the planet, what do you mean by 'when I conquer the world'??Do you know that world domination is next to impossible?
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Irrevelent.I'm gonna get a bunch of nukes, bomb Amelica and a couple of other countries, take over the rwmains and lead an army of radioactive matter across the rest of the civilized globe(The uncivilized ones would come later).
Me:How do you get acess to the nukes?
Yuanmashita Suzuki:I'm gonna steal the rugby ball.
Me:It's called the football.
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Nevar mind that.
Me:At any rate,how do you steal the Football.It is a, like, completely secure object with over 10 NSA agents and several CIA agents watching over it.Oh and it is Bulletproof and permanently attached to an aide
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Never mind that.
Me(humoring him):So what exactly would you do to help mankind if you in the impossible event that you actually conquer the world?
Yuanmashita Suzuki:I'm going to make it mandatory for all but the old and the infirm to jog for an hour while holding their mouth wide open.
Me(trying to humor him):Because you really think well of exercise and fresh air??
Yuanmashita Suzuki:No,because I reeeeeaaaaalllly hate flies.
Me talking to the village idiot:
Sulen:Dei!!!!!
Me:Erm.......hi
Sulen:You not gonna make me write a sentonce for our project. I AM NOT YOUR BEST OF BORDER
Me(to myself):Isn't it beast of burden??
Me:OK
Sulen:Good and help me do my homework but i was tell teacher about how you insolted my intolligence
Me(to myself):Oh, great.
Later.....
Ryan:What exactly did you want Sulen to do?
Me:Type out her name and email so that we could contact her.
Me talking to the Class Sissy:
(Ryan was telling a funny parody about Garfield).
Me:haha
(Quiswart walks up and slaps me in the face)
Me:Aw!What was that for?
Quiswart:You just laughed at my favorite idol.
Me(to myself):Huh??
Me(to Quiswart):That was parody,not satir, you filthy **t**
Quiswart: Leo scolded vulgar. Boo-wah-wawaaaaah!
Me:Stop pretending to cry!!
Quiswart(wiping away imaginary tears):I'm telling Ms.YURTOAPHER!!
Me:Hey!!Low Blow!
Quiswart:Haha!!!!
(Ms.Yurtoapher entered the classroom.)
Quiswart(pretended to cry again): Leo said the B-word to me!
Ms.Yurtoapher:Stand up,Leo! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!
Me:Well...it was like th-
Ms.Yurtoapher:HOW DARE YOU SAY VULGAR IN MY CLASS!
Me:But-
Ms.Yurtoapher:DO YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS A MENACE TO CIVILIZED LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!AND THAT..................................................................................................................................................................................
Me:But...
Ms.Yurtoapher:Don't Talk back to me!APOLOGIZE
Me:Errrmm..
Ms.Yurtoapher:APLOGIZE!!!!!
Me:But y-
Ms.Yurtoapher:APLOGIZE!!!!!!!
Me(in a voice as scarastic as I could muster):Sorry,Quiswart!
(When Ms.Yurtoapher turned her head back to the blackboard, Quiswart stuck his tongue out and pointed his middle finger at me in the same instant)
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