Pre-note: Check out this game: http://www.heroeswm.com/?rid=28735
Okay, let's analyze another of my posts. Since my Going Back to the US posts are the most popular, I'll analyze and explain another of them.
Note: Numbers with asterisks are the ones that I'll explain later
So, anyway, I took a 12 hourflight to Detroit. Man, this is getting ridiculous. Call me spoiled, but is it that much to want an entertainment system instead of 12-hours of doing nothing(1)???Huh? To be fair to Northsouthern Airlines, they had a Projector TV(2). Which shouldn't have been that lousy, but there's a catch. They really don't have interesting shows(3). Who want to spend all their time watching a show called Starstruck?? A really bored teenager blogger who calls himself Leonardo with nothing better to do, that's who(5).
Anyway, when I finally got off the plane, I felt like I was in heaven(6). Then, we had to go through the checkpoint, which was kinda*censor*, erm...unexpected. (7)Imagine a clean, tech, effecient, friendly checkpoint that barely have any lines. Yeah, that's what I did, imagine it(8), because the reality isn't like that. Quite the opposite in effect.
When I saw the size of the line(quenue), I was ready to give the country up to radicals like Obama(9*) and Yuanmashita(0:Old joke). After 20 minutes in the line with no visible progress, I was ready to join them(10). By the time I got through a third of the line, I was screaming at them to @#$%^ hurry up(11*). Anyway, it was ---- tiring standing in the line. That and I have the world's worst case of jet lag. So I must have drifted off(don't ask me how I managed to do so standing up)(12), because the next thing I know, I was near the front of the line. In the big electronic billboard on top of the checkpoint, I saw the following words:"radicals led by the disgrunted general, Yuanmashita, has launched a major strike against the checkpoint. Flee!(13*)
I smiled to myself. No more standing in line! Of course, I had to pay Yuanmashita an arm and leg for the service(14), but it was worth it. I smiled in anticipation
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The only catch is that I looked slightly ungainly without an arm or leg.(15) Arrggghhh. Wait, an arm or leg??What happened to my other arm?(16)For that matter, what happened to my other leg? (17)For that matter, why can't I see my torso? (18)While we're at it, why can't I see amnything????? (19)And why do I feel as if my shoulder's shaking while I can't see anything?
------------------------------
"Wake Up!"somebody shook me awake. I opened my eyes. I was in front of the border official. I checked my watch. It was four hours after we landed. I was going to say something witty before the border checkpoint official interrupted.
"give me one reason why you would not be involved in a school shooting."(20*)he said
Uh-oh. Here we go again....
Anyway, when I finally got off the plane, I felt like I was in heaven(6). Then, we had to go through the checkpoint, which was kinda*censor*, erm...unexpected. (7)Imagine a clean, tech, effecient, friendly checkpoint that barely have any lines. Yeah, that's what I did, imagine it(8), because the reality isn't like that. Quite the opposite in effect.
When I saw the size of the line(quenue), I was ready to give the country up to radicals like Obama(9*) and Yuanmashita(0:Old joke). After 20 minutes in the line with no visible progress, I was ready to join them(10). By the time I got through a third of the line, I was screaming at them to @#$%^ hurry up(11*). Anyway, it was ---- tiring standing in the line. That and I have the world's worst case of jet lag. So I must have drifted off(don't ask me how I managed to do so standing up)(12), because the next thing I know, I was near the front of the line. In the big electronic billboard on top of the checkpoint, I saw the following words:"radicals led by the disgrunted general, Yuanmashita, has launched a major strike against the checkpoint. Flee!(13*)
I smiled to myself. No more standing in line! Of course, I had to pay Yuanmashita an arm and leg for the service(14), but it was worth it. I smiled in anticipation
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The only catch is that I looked slightly ungainly without an arm or leg.(15) Arrggghhh. Wait, an arm or leg??What happened to my other arm?(16)For that matter, what happened to my other leg? (17)For that matter, why can't I see my torso? (18)While we're at it, why can't I see amnything????? (19)And why do I feel as if my shoulder's shaking while I can't see anything?
------------------------------
"Wake Up!"somebody shook me awake. I opened my eyes. I was in front of the border official. I checked my watch. It was four hours after we landed. I was going to say something witty before the border checkpoint official interrupted.
"give me one reason why you would not be involved in a school shooting."(20*)he said
Uh-oh. Here we go again....
Final Note: Tomorrow, I will write a humorous story, the type that should be in a textbook and noted as a dictionary defination of irony, and you could try to spot the jokes
*We have yet to receive a single phone call in complaint
9. Please, don't sue me. It's only a joke.^
11. A common mis-conception is that I'm screaming at the checkpoint officials to hurry up. Actually, I was referring to the terrorists.
13. The obvious irony of disgruntled generals attacking a border checkpoint.
20. Refers way back, to one of my earliest posts.
^Avid reader: Why would anybody sue you?
Me:Y'know, these religious politicians, they get upset about these things.
Avid reader:He'll probably just take it as a joke.
Me:No, he won't. He's got a big temper, y'know.
Avid read:No, he don't. Besides, I thought you are a fan of that guy. You said that yourself.
Me: Of course not. He killed thousands of people
A.R.:Hussein?Are you sure
Me:No, I wasn't talking about him, but, yeah, him too.
A.R.:Are you sure Barrack Hussein Obama did all these thing?
Me:What, him?No, I was worried that Osama bin Ladin would sue.
A.R.:Oh.
No comments:
Post a Comment